Halloween in Pictures

"Abby"

So excited to see Grandma!

Chasing her wings

Can't quite get em'

Blue lips from the M&Ms

I think we've had enough candy for a while...

Quotes

Some of My Favorite Quotes...

"My bra is tight" (said as she was reaching around her back pretending to take her bra off)

"Mommy, you need some wuv?"

"I need some help, guys!"

"Wipe my bottom, Hon..."

"Oh, Papa, you're silly!"

"Mommy, I'm cold!  I'm brrrr cold!"

"I wuv you."

"Wew!"

"What you doing?"

"Oh....pudding!  My favorite!"

"I want youuu, Mommy - I want youuuu!"

"How are you doing today?"

"Your belly is feeling better?  Now you can put me on the big potty?"

"Mommy, you need to be patient!"

"Momma, rub my back a lil...I'm really constipated."

"We not going night-night?"

"Mommy, you need some chappy?"

"Everybody needs chappy!"

"Sure, that'd be great!"

"Everybody has diarrhea."  (This is usually followed by saying every name we know and how they have diarrhea too.)

"Oh, Mommy, that's just way it is!"

"Hey, you tricked me!"

"I need to check my email."

"Mommy, I need help...I really screwed it up."

"I made a mistake."

"I'm bare bun-did!"

"Mommy, you need help or you're fine?"

"Oh, no!  It's Dirt Nader!"  (the scene is at the end of the video clip.)

My not-so-favorite quotes....

"Leave me alone!"

"Don't touch me!"

"No!  No, no ,no, no, no, no!"

"I wanna watch the Muppets!"

"Stop it!  Just stop it!"

Pumpkins

Grace carved her first pumpkin the other night at Nomma and Grampa's house.  And, although she wasn't crazy about doing the dirty work (pulling out the seeds and gunk), she did like the drawing and the carving parts.

Drawing the face

Helping Nomma carve

Pulling off the top

Even Papa helped out

Not the best looking pumpkin, but hey...

The finished product

Loss

This pregnancy was not meant to be, I guess.  After my labs came back today (HCG down to 3), I was told to stop taking my meds.  Thanks to everyone for all the prayers and encouragement. 

A Little Bit Pregnant

Oh, how I wish my life could just be simple!  Today I anxiously waited for "the" call.  I have been feeling things that made me think I could be pregnant, but I haven't wanted to get my hopes up.  This afternoon, I got the call that I am pregnant, but that my HCG level is very low (19.9, when it should be >100 at two weeks post-transfer).  If I'm remembering correctly, HCG levels are supposed to double every couple of days up to a certain point in the pregnancy.  I'm thinking I was around 1000 when I found out I was pregnant with Grace.  Since I'm not technically at two weeks yet (not until tomorrow when their lab isn't open), I have to go back on Wednesday for another HCG test.

I'm holding on to that little piece of hope for another miracle, and resting in the peace that whatever happens, God is in control, and He knows best.

Leaves

I have been missing leaves.  Where we live, they don't have a chance to accumulate on the ground before they are blown away by the grounds crew.  My parents don't have much for leaves at their place either.  But Granny and Grandpa have tons of leaves and the most beautifully colored trees around.

This afternoon we went over to their place to visit with Aunt Sarah and her friend, Carmen, who were both in town.  But we also enjoyed some outdoor time, playing and running through the leaves.  Grace raced back and forth through the piles- to Granny, then back to Aunt Sara or Grandpa.  I think she enjoyed herself, and I enjoyed watching her and snapping lots of photos...

Baby Acres

We visited LeCromier's Baby Acres today.  Grace was so excited to pet the baby animals and to pick out her very own pumpkin.  She, of course, wanted the biggest pumpkin she could find.  And I opted for the smallest, baby pumpkin that I could find.  Grace enjoyed carrying it around for me, and eventually made it her own.  I can't wait to carve our first pumpkins together, and to bake pumpkin seeds. 

Grace was so much braver this year than last; she actually fed the goats all by herself at one point, while I almost had my ponytail swallowed by a particularly aggressive one.  Everyone got a good laugh, including Grace.  Tonight while we were settling in for bed, I asked Grace what her favorite animal was today.  She said it was the kitty - a super loving little black kitten that snuggled right up to her in the petting barn.  She sure loves her kitties!

 I love the hands on the hips

Feedin' the goats

 Being so brave

"kitty"

After a "Moo!" 

On the hunt for the great pumpkin

She found it!

Enjoying the hayride from the pumpkin patch

She didn't last long on the train

She LOVED the maze

And I love her...

This Morning

Last night was rough.  My hormones have been giving me night sweats, and last night after I got up to go to the bathroom and change my t-shirt, I struggled for over two hours to get back to sleep.  Then, just as I fell deep into my slumber, I had to get up to get my shot in the butt before Dave left for work.  Fortunately, I fell right back to sleep after that.  Unfortunately, it only lasted about an hour before a sweet, little voice woke me up whispering, "Mommy?  You need some love?"  "Yes," I said, as I snuggled up next to my girl.  (That was the sweet part).  Within a few minutes, Grace had bitten my nose, put me in a time-out, and whacked me really good in the face while she was flipping over. 

I guess all the abuse was worth it for a little love...

Praise You in this Storm

I love the song Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns.  I love all of their songs, but this one really speaks to my heart right now.  Amazing song with awesome lyrics.


I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

What I Needed Today

As I was scrolling through my Blogger dashboard a few minutes ago, a title jumped out at me: Your Will Be Done.  I really needed to read it today.  It doesn't make this hurt any less, right now anyways, but I needed to be reminded.

IVF Update

I had a pretty good weekend- most of the IVF pain subsided, and I started feeling "things" that reminded me of my early pregnancy with Grace.  I started really believing that I could be pregnant, and imagining how it might be this time around.

This morning I went in for my routine blood work which checks the estrogen and progesterone levels to ensure there's enough of both to maintain a pregnancy, if there is one.  I thought I would be called with good news this afternoon, but I was not.  The nurse called to inform me that my levels had both dropped pretty dramatically, and that I needed to double-up on my meds.  She said that most people do have a drop, but not as drastic as this.  She did reassure me that there have still been pregnancies under circumstances like mine, but I could tell in her voice that it would be a long-shot. 

I'm feeling pretty bummed to say the least; hoping for a miracle, but trying to prepare myself for what will most likely be a much diffferent outcome than what I was envisioning over the past few days. 

Fall

With the stress of all the IVF stuff, I haven't been doing much photography lately, but as I watched the colors peak from my view on the couch, I really started missing it and wanting to find a way to get out and get a few shots of the season (and of course, Grace too).

We took a short trip out to Dow Gardens today.  My plan was to get a wheel-chair and have Dave push me around, but when we got there, all the wheel-chairs were reserved for a wedding.  (10-10-10-- I should have known better.)  So, we kept it short and didn't walk very far.  But what we did see was beautiful...

IVF Update

Yesterday we had two good lookin' embryos transferred (put in my uterus).  Now it's up to them to do their thing, and hopefully, one or both (gulp) of them will implant and become a little bean. That's the good news.  The not so pleasant part is my uterus has been going crazy with contractions, which is not a good thing for a little embryo that's trying to burrow in.  Yet another thing I cannot control.  Praying we can make it over this last hurdle.

If Left to Her Own Devices...

She'd be stickered and stamped from head to toe...

(Stickers courtesy of Uncle Seth)

Fun with the Boys

Wednesday afternoon, Grace and I met up with my friend Vu and her little guys, Cayden and Brycen, at Leaman's Apple Orchard.  It was a much-needed distraction for me, and Grace had a lot of fun, too.  We were hoping to pick our own apples, but the season peaked early this year and they weren't allowing any more picking. 

I guess it doesn't count if you pick them off the ground?

Cayden had the same idea

 Vu and Grace

Grace liked the tractors and the big slides

Brycen - such a sweet little guy

Welcome to my house of corn

Of course, the doughnuts and cider were a hit, too!