Nomads

Ever wish you could fall asleep and wake up when the storms of life have passed?  I do.  I hate to wish my life away, but I am ready for March to be over; it's such a dreary, depressing month even with the best of circumstances. 

We've had a crazy past few weeks.  For starters, Dave and I moved out of our apartment yesterday.  After we got back from Florida, we gave our landlord notice that we were buying a house.  We were concerned that we wouldn't find anyone to take over our lease, which wasn't up until July, but, in less than one week  he found someone who needed to move in in two weeks.  That meant we had two weeks to pack up our junk and move it temporarily to a storage unit until our big move to our new house.  Now, after a long, grueling week, the job is finally done and we are all moved out. 

Now we are nomads, wandering back and forth between my in-law's place and my parent's house, trying not to wear out our welcome.  It will most likely be another month before we close and I am having so much anxiety right now.  I'm living on Xanax and all things crunchy.  I'm fearful something will go wrong with the loan.  I'm fearful Dave will get laid-off.  I'm fearful we will be left with nowhere to live and we'll have to stay with our parents forever (a nightmare situation for them as well). 

Some things are so hard for me to let go of and leave up to God to figure out.   Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm in control, that if I  just work at things long enough and cover all the angles, I can work everything out myself.  But the older I get, the more I realize there is very little I have control over.  It's so hard for me to surrender all.   Not just the things that I don't really care about, but everything.  The people I love, the things I hope for in life.  Everything.  I don't like to think that the things that I want may not be what God wants for me. 

I'm praying that whatever God's will is in all of this, that I will be accepting of it and have the peace that only He can provide.