Breakthrough

I've had a bit of a love/hate relationship with church lately.  I love being there, listening to the sermon and worshiping God, but I dislike the "Grace management" part of it all.  All previous attempts to leave her in the nursery have failed (although we've really only tried a handful of times).  I was too much of a germaphobe to leave her when she was younger; when the transition would have undoubtedly been an easier one.  I just haven't had the courage to start the process again, so, we've been keeping Grace with us in the sanctuary. And, although she usually makes it through the music, which she enjoys, she tends to get a little disruptive once the sermon begins.  I inevitably end up walking the halls with her, missing out on the sermon most Sundays, and leaving with a heart hungry for real worship.

This morning we were ready for church early.  I think it might have been a first for us.  Something inside me said, today is the day.  I decided to try the nursery again.  I said a little prayer, and I took Grace inside.  She was fine until she realized I was leaving, and then the tears began.  As hard as it was, I left her.  With a guilt-laden heart, I listened from outside the door.  She cried...and she cried...and she cried.  But then, praise God, she stopped.  Still in amazement, I made my way to my seat.  As I listened to the sermon, I kept waiting for my number to pop up on the big screen; the number that would let me know that Grace was too upset to make it through the hour.  But, thankfully, it never appeared.  It was, I believe, an answer to prayer.

After the service was over, as I quickly walked back to the nursery, I felt relieved and grateful.  I was filled with a renewed sense of hope that we might be able to do this every Sunday. I also wondered what kind of shape I'd find my girl in.  As I peeked in the door, there she was smiling at me-  her purple lion under her arm.  She was just fine.  Better than fine, really.  And I was (am) so proud of her.  It really was a breakthrough- for both of us.  And I am so grateful...